Lost In Beauty-

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

sometimes.. i do wonder.. does people really aware and appreciate of what you did for them for the past few years.. once.. i had one very close friend of mine.. close as sisters.. usually.. during a friendship, there would be both friends of different character.. for my case.. i am much more sporty and not wordy type of person.. the otherwise.. she's much more indoor and and much more chatty than me.. of coz.. she's good at words.. and moreover.. she's always busily criticizing others most of the time.. my side of friends, my ex-boyfriends wasn't spared either.. though it's rather ridiculous sometimes.. but i kept most of the comments myself and accept her for who she is.. i don't mind.. within this 4-5 years of friendship.. there's only a mere few quarrels occured.. as u would know.. the sparks of the tension origin from her and her critisism habit.. and she was always the one who seek for forgiveness.. everything went alright.. till late March, she met my dad by coincidence.. my dad, being curious of what we youngsters have been doing and what so ever.. started a conversation with her.. she, likewise.. talk with him.. i wasn't very sure of the content.. for i wasn't there in the first place.. i was working at a restaurant at a sub-urban restaurant then.. but it left my dad fuming mad when proceeding home.. was then that i came back from work.. my dad confronted me and blabbering about my spendthrift behaviour and blah blah blah (i couldn't remember that well anymore..).. and the last thing he do.. a BIG tight slap on my face.. i only recalled that i am being wronged from now.. i was crying utterly and land myself sleepless.. i also remembered tat i overdosed pills which will land myself poisoned or have effect on me for overdosage.. and i waited throughout the night.. hoping that it would take effect on me.. and land myself in the hospital.. for i wanted to prove that i am gravely wronged.. nothing happen in the end.. i only felt a tinklish dizziness.. the next day back at school.. i just take nothing happen.. She.. on the other hand.. made everything seems normal and fine, like any other day.. i was hoping that she would come clarify with me.. or even.. at least tell me the content.. but with disappointment.. she did not.. till when i started to display " bAcKsTabBeR.. i hAtE yOu~!" in my msn nick.. her guilt couldn't hold her any longer i guess.. she started to confront me and blabbered about the incidence.. she did not realised that i wasn't referring to her, but someone else.. being rather paranoid she began to take up the mindset that, i am referring her as the backstabber.. conflict resulted when i could not take up her strong words.. and ridiculous logics.. i fumed.. and it marked the start of a war.. knowing that i could not outtalk her, i only managed to handle a few chunk of those hurtful phrases.. each.. hissing and misunderstood everything i have done for her.. vexed.. i raged out my anger all at once within a phrase.. and blocked her immediately.. hoping that both of us will cool down this way..

the beauty exposed ;