Thursday, January 31, 2008
do you think i'd wake up early in the morning & see him there waiting for me already?
waiting to get out together, to spent the very very first day since our very first loooonggg parting?
i think he'd still complaint about the distance, despite i had EVER made my way all to SENGKANG before 8.30AM.
i ever FANTASIZED he'd be very very caring, concerning & sweet to think of doing the same to me.
but now that i've enough of the fact that i'm always slapped back with the same thing over & over again.
that he wun move his arse & do them.
this is the very very last time my hope will be burning such thoughts, before it diminished to nothingness.
pure nothingness.
the beauty exposed ;
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
he'd be back in 3 days' time.
i knew, like any typical lazy students..
he wun be able to do up 21 written assignments to me..
NEITHER will he lay his hands on paper, since the letters of departure to me..
i'm very sure of it, and UNLESS he sees this entry..
STILL, i don't think he'd do as told..
(private entry for hunnie, thereafter.)
the beauty exposed ;
♡ frequency doesn't determine rarity.
the beauty exposed ;
Thursday, January 24, 2008
i'm aching on the inside, bleeding on the outside.
the ever first time i bleed so much.
**this has nothing to do with my boyfriend. but somewhat to do with him.
ato be disclosed a week later. after i'm all healed.
H
A
P
P
I
E
23RD MONTH
A
N
N
I
V
E
R
S
A
R
Y
!!
the beauty exposed ;
after my brother mugged so much, he finally fair well in his O'level
you can see him sleep very early, can see him play maplestory whole day.
and watch anime.. wateva.. such a junkie & full time slacker...
how i wish i can do it like him, during my O's.. i really burnt 3 whole days for those stupid paper.. tsk..
i'll disturb him whenever he study
oh brood.. zZzZz.....
okae.. this entry is for you, stupid brother..
rewards for your good results.. haha.. 
the beauty exposed ;
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
It’s been 11 days... 31st January still seemed so faraway... it’s like a tunnel, what surrounds me is just darkness... to get to you, I’ve to walk through it myself… Looking back, I’m just halfway there... do you know how hectic & how scary it is for me? Why are you so cruel?
I just felt that I’ve been drifting my lifeless self around the school... I don’t know what I had been doing… I just know I have to stay this way... not until you brought me to your arms again... Life’s been really really hard… I’m given lotsa tasks to do during projects…very last minute project work... Very very last minute notices that I have to hand up 2 subjects’ individual assignments… even exams... I only knew 2 days before... I’ve to stay strong, to fight hard for my studies and my future, to fight hard to cope with such a mess-up school life here… to ease myself in my solemn life... I’ve to bear everything through without you…
life is like a stage, in this stage of mine, I’ve got not much script line during each play of my day… due to circumstances, I can’t reveal my real self.. I can’t express my emotions… not even when I’m near death… I’ve to wear a mask carrying expressions that my screaming inner self doesn’t want me to be… everyday, I woke up with an angered self, what should I be? How must I present in front of people? I really can’t take it anymore…
What makes you all think that this bubbly & cheery girl standing right in front of you is really happy? No one.
I really hate it when my teacher shared a tad bits of my life yesterday… what she ask me, I just answered as how things are... it’s a dreadful decision I made that I feel like knocking myself against the wall… what makes this woman I barely know, knows stuffs about me when for such a long time, no one bothers… not even the closer ones bothers… that teacher doesn’t reserve the rights anyway… maybe I need something I can talk all my hearts out to… I’m brimming with thousands of sorrows… and it’s her plain luck that she came and had a share of me…
fuck it.
the beauty exposed ;
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
i wanna visit
Louvre in Paris
Milan
Leaning Tower of Ipsa
Ely, a town @Cambridgeshire, England.
Taiwan
Bangkok, Thailand.
Barcelona, Spain
Mauritus, Maui, Mediterranean sea
Sydney & Gold Coast, Australia
okae.. enough said..
i don't think i'll get to travel so much too..
the beauty exposed ;
Sunday, January 13, 2008
your departure wasn't what i want..
at times, i just wish this is a nightmare,
that i'll fall into a deep deep sleep
and that i'd wake up only when you come back.
*i've left an email for you, look at it hunnie..*
Pom Kit Theung Ter Mak MakY
the beauty exposed ;
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
your departure, my misadventure.
my nightmare starts here.
the beauty exposed ;
Sunday, January 06, 2008
the short call really meant alot to me.
i had lotsa eye twitchings; eventually dismiss as folks' tales i shouldn't believe..
i dreamt of you in my room..
like many dramas in teevee.. i'm afraid that some mishaps might have happened to you..
but right at noon, you gave me a call.. to tell me ure fine..
thank God.. he answered to my frantic worries..
it's only day two hunnie.. i'll wait for your return..
it's just a 4 days of communication breakdown.. i must get over..
the 4weeks overseas training @thailand has yet to come.. i'll have to live with it very soon..
the beauty exposed ;
Saturday, January 05, 2008
i haven't been feeling well lately.. now that i've lost my voice.. i wonder is it a bad thing or good thing to have..
the good thing is..
from this i'll learnt how observant are people around me.. practically none.
even if i don't talk, it's alright to them too.. coz i'm a quiet girl in school.. occasionally rowdy..
i learnt, even if sick, i can't be compared to those who don't have computers & phones..
i still have to work on project as hard, whereas she could be dating man & get absent almost everyday.
i wonder what's got into her.. shut down everything & her part will be done?
i might as well shut down myself.. stupid shit..
this made me prefer more of attachment, than to school even more..
i hate schools, but i still have to hold on.. hanging on for 1 more fucking year.
no one knows abt it..
the bad thing is..
i can't find a bad thing about it.. except that tuesday is my oncoming practical exam..
you learnt CPR for 8hrs over 3 days, and next week is practical.. very well done..
i wonder how do i verbalize while doing CPR..
i rather my health depleted, and send me into deep deep coma.. until he's back..
*i'm voiceless still, but i rather stay on like this to see humanity.*
the beauty exposed ;
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
my cousins.. i wonder how
are they doing.. (o.O")
the beauty exposed ;
okae.. this entry is for you, stupid brother..
